Perfectionism - The Dangerous Trap Self Help Articles | February 4 Wholesale Cubs Shirts , 2005
Just when I have something figured out, along comes another how-to-article telling me how to be or do something better or even change my entire life. No matter where I turn, I am constantly reminded t...


Just when I have something figured out, along comes another how-to-article telling me how to be or do something better or even change my entire life. No matter where I turn Wholesale Cubs Jerseys , I am constantly reminded that I am not good enough in more ways than one. I am not smart enough, not rich enough, not slim enough, not efficient enough Cheap Cubs Hats , not pretty enough, not powerful enough, not ?with it? enough and probably ?out of it? altogether.


That?s me and it gets worse. In line with our education economy, yesterday?s perfect diet is banned today and my car of the year was just recalled. My time-management is out of date and my writing achievements fade against the big authors. Yes Cheap Cubs Hoodies , I am my own worst critic. Growing up with perfectionist parents didn?t help either. It wasn?t until their seventies, that my father could tolerate fingerprints on his freshly washed car and that my mother learned to enjoy a meal without matching table décor.


Perfectionism is driving us up the wall or around the bend and neither direction is desirable. No wonder half of the population is on Prozac and the other half copes on some other crutch. We live under constant pressure to be perfect and expect nothing less from others. Intensely glued to information that helps us conform to some perfect ideal, we learn less about ourselves. Detached from the core of who we are, we show up with fabricated selves to gain approval.


There is quite a difference between aiming for a successful life or relationship and trying to achieve perfection. Contrary to popular belief Cheap Cubs Shirts , perfection is not required to succeed in love and life. In fact, the perfectionism-trap has serious negative consequences:


· We feel our accomplishments are never good enough
· We don?t achieve personal satisfaction
· We value people based on their achievements
· We believe doing our best doesn?t cut it
· We take mistakes personally and hesitate to try again
· We are afraid to show our flaws
· We are vulnerable to rejection
· We do what we should, not what we want
· We set impossible to reach goals
· We are hard on others and ourselves
· We expect perfection of others
· We develop a obsession with perfectionism
· We feel we never measure up
· We fear failure in relationships and have difficulties being intimate
· We don?t pursue a relationship out of fear it might not be perfect
· We become critical of our partners


To sum it up, we believe that unless we are perfect success and love will evade us. The biggest cost of perfectionism is our neglect of the humble core within and our failure to claim a life in alignment with our true self. Instead of focussing on our qualities and all that is right with us Cheap Cubs Jerseys , we are busy fixing everything seemingly imperfect. Driven to live up to the perfect ideal we become pretentious, self-promoting, critical human beings. Because of our focus on achieving goals, we never enjoy the journey of getting there. As a result we lose the irreplaceable moments of relating to people and doing things.



Webster defines perfectionism as "a disposition Wholesale Joe Maddon Jersey , which regards anything short of perfect as unacceptable". The torment for perfectionists is that they never find anything perfect, simply because perfection does not exist. Instead they suffer from social and personal anxiety and strained relationships. To find peace, accept ourselves and nurture the best in us, we have to overcome perfectionism and:


· Use our mistakes as opportunities for growth
· Set goals in line with who we are and what we want
· Accept ourselves as human beings with flaws
· Give a little less than 100% and still experience success
· Enjoy the journey instead of just focussing on the goal
· Recognize that anxiety arises when we set unrealistic goals
· Understand that we get more done and feel better about ourselves if we don?t strive for perfection.
· Give up the irrational belief that relationships must be perfect
· Stop second guessing ourselves
· Be compassionate with ourselves and our partners


Thousands of people give less than 100% to a goal Wholesale Anthony Rizzo Jersey , but 100% to the journey and succeed. Everyday people don?t give all they?ve got, but still get done what they need to. If we try to give 100 % to everything we do, we never get enough done. Perfectionists operate on the assumption that unless they can give 100 % to a task, they won?t even start. As a result Wholesale Cole Hamels Jersey , they become occupied with trivial details and put off tasks until they can make a 100% effort. Perfectionists tend to be procrastinators with endless to-do lists and dreams put on hold until ?some day.?


When it comes to relationships, perfectionists don?t do that well either. Single perfectionists keep on dating without making a choice, thinking someone more perfect will be around the corner. When they are in a relationship, the fear that it might not be perfect Wholesale Addison Russell Jersey , keeps their relationships from progressing. Even when they finally settle with a partner, second-guessing their choice and being critical of their partner ensures frustrating relationships.